Christmas Is Bullshit

by JC Cassis

/
1.
Well, Christmas is here It sends shivers up my spine Cuz this part of the year Is my least favorite time I don’t stuff stockings I don’t buy dead trees I only like shopping If the shopping is for me The food makes me fatter Christmas cookies taste like wood Ugly sweaters don’t flatter And I prefer to look good The weather is nasty The crowds are insane Don’t be mad at me But I just gotta say Christmas Christmas is bullshit I hate the music And pretending winter is fun It’s the worst season (Everybody knows it) Christmas Christmas is bullshit I don’t wanna do it Let me skip this one So I can have fun You can call me a killjoy A curmudgeon, a grinch But I call it like I see it And I won’t give an inch I don’t need Santa I can buy shit for myself I don’t care about job security for an elf Traditions don’t matter Sometimes they’re obscene Let me give an example So you see what I mean Name one other time You would ever drink egg nog If you don’t like what I’m sayin’ You can suck my yule log, cuz Christmas Christmas is bullshit I hate the music And pretending winter is fun It’s the worst season (Everybody knows it) Christmas Christmas is bullshit I don’t wanna do it Let me skip this one So I can have fun Now, I know what you’re gonna say You’re gonna say, “Maybe you don’t like Christmas because you haven’t met the right Christmas yet.” But we all know, that’s not how that works. I’ve tried Christmas 35 times! It’s NOT WORKING FOR ME But they say, "Don’t complain about a problem without offering a solution." Fine. Next year, no Christmas. Just two Halloweens! Christmas Christmas is bullshit Nobody likes it All the smiles are fake Nobody wants no fruitcake (throw that shit out) Christmas Christmas is bullshit We don’t have to do it We can skip this one So we can have fun This song is done
2.
Well, Christmas is here It sends shivers up my spine Cuz this part of the year Is my least favorite time I don’t stuff stockings I don’t buy dead trees I only like shopping If the shopping is for me The food makes me fatter Christmas cookies taste like wood Ugly sweaters don’t flatter And I prefer to look good The weather is nasty The crowds are insane Don’t be mad at me But I just gotta say Christmas Christmas is bullshit I hate the music And pretending winter is fun It’s the worst season (Everybody knows it) Christmas Christmas is bullshit I don’t wanna do it Let me skip this one So I can have fun You can call me a killjoy A curmudgeon, a grinch But I call it like I see it And I won’t give an inch I don’t need Santa I can buy shit for myself I don’t care about job security for an elf Traditions don’t matter Sometimes they’re obscene Let me give an example So you see what I mean Name one other time You would ever drink egg nog If you don’t like what I’m sayin’ You can suck my yule log, cuz Christmas Christmas is bullshit I hate the music And pretending winter is fun It’s the worst season (Everybody knows it) Christmas Christmas is bullshit I don’t wanna do it Let me skip this one So I can have fun Now I know what you’re gonna say You’re gonna say, “Maybe you don’t like Christmas because you haven’t met the right Christmas yet.” But we all know, that’s not how that works. I’ve tried Christmas 35 times! It’s NOT WORKING FOR ME But they say, "Don’t complain about a problem without offering a solution." Fine. Next year, no Christmas. Just two Halloweens! Christmas Christmas is bullshit Nobody likes it All the smiles are fake Nobody wants no fruitcake (throw that shit out) Christmas Christmas is bullshit We don’t have to do it We can skip this one So we can have fun This song is done
3.
Well, Christmas is here It sends shivers up my spine Cuz this part of the year Is my least favorite time I don’t stuff stockings I don’t buy dead trees I only like shopping If the shopping is for me The food makes me fatter Christmas cookies taste like wood Ugly sweaters don’t flatter And I prefer to look good The weather is nasty The crowds are insane Don’t be mad at me But I just gotta say Christmas Christmas is b.s. I hate the music And pretending winter is fun It’s the worst season (Everybody knows it) Christmas Christmas is b.s. I don’t wanna do it Let me skip this one So I can have fun You can call me a killjoy A curmudgeon, a grinch But I call it like I see it And I won’t give an inch I don’t need Santa I can buy stuff for myself I don’t care about job security for an elf Traditions don’t matter Sometimes they’re obscene Let me give an example So you see what I mean Name one other time You would ever drink egg nog If you don’t like what I’m sayin’ You can kiss my yule log, cuz Christmas Christmas is b.s. I hate the music And pretending winter is fun It’s the worst season (Everybody knows it) Christmas Christmas is b.s. I don’t wanna do it Let me skip this one So I can have fun Now I know what you’re gonna say You’re gonna say, “Maybe you don’t like Christmas, because you haven’t met the right Christmas yet.” But we all know, that’s not how that works. I’ve tried Christmas 35 times! It’s NOT WORKING FOR ME But they say, "Don’t complain about a problem without offering a solution." Fine. Next year, no Christmas. Just two Halloweens! Christmas Christmas is b.s. Nobody likes it All the smiles are fake Nobody wants no fruitcake (throw that thing out) Christmas Christmas is bullshit We don’t have to do it We can skip this one So we can have fun This song is done

about

Sounding like a cheery holiday-themed collaboration between Christina Aguilera and Weird Al Yankovic, Christmas Is Bullshit is a hilarious and super-catchy anti-Christmas comedy song from singer/songwriter/producer and Christmas hater, JC Cassis. If you're sick and tired of people acting like Christmas is great when you know it's all bullshit, and you want to sneak an anti-Christmas song into the holiday party playlist that will sound right at home with all the classics, this is the song for you. It's full of gorgeous, layered background vocals, brassy horns, saccharine strings, jolly jingle bells, and witty lyrics dripping with bad attitude about how annoying Christmas and winter really are. A surefire ear worm that will keep you laughing through the snow, Christmas Is Bullshit is destined to become a new holiday classic for everyone who's done with pretending to enjoy the holidays.

credits

released November 27, 2018

Written, produced and performed by JC Cassis
Mixed by Chris Camilleri
Mastered by Mark Santangelo at The Mastering Palace
Recorded by Chris Camilleri and Ian Elkind
Vocals, piano, strings, glockenspiel and bells performed by JC Cassis
Guitar by Chris Camilleri
Bass by Dan Freeman
Drums by Ken White
Trumpet by Ben Seacrist
Saxophone by Alex Blade Silver
Trombone by Jovan Johnson

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JC Cassis New York

JC Cassis is an independent solo artist, singer, songwriter, and music producer from New York City. She has appeared on VH1, Oxygen Network, LOGO TV, Disney Jr., and on festival stages around the USA.

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