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Christmas Is Bullshit (Censored Version)

from Christmas Is Bullshit by JC Cassis

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about

Sounding like a cheery holiday-themed collaboration between Christina Aguilera and Weird Al Yankovic, Christmas Is Bullshit (Censored Version) is a hilarious and super-catchy anti-Christmas comedy song from singer/songwriter/producer and Christmas hater, JC Cassis. If you're sick and tired of people acting like Christmas is great when you know it's all bullshit, and you want to sneak an anti-Christmas song into the holiday party playlist that will sound right at home with all the classics, this is the song for you. It's full of gorgeous, layered background vocals, brassy horns, saccharine strings, jolly jingle bells, and witty lyrics dripping with bad attitude about how annoying Christmas and winter really are. A surefire ear worm that will keep you laughing through the snow, Christmas Is Bullshit is destined to become a new holiday classic for everyone who's done with pretending to enjoy the holidays.

lyrics

Well, Christmas is here
It sends shivers up my spine
Cuz this part of the year
Is my least favorite time

I don’t stuff stockings
I don’t buy dead trees
I only like shopping
If the shopping is for me

The food makes me fatter
Christmas cookies taste like wood
Ugly sweaters don’t flatter
And I prefer to look good

The weather is nasty
The crowds are insane
Don’t be mad at me
But I just gotta say

Christmas
Christmas is bullshit
I hate the music
And pretending winter is fun
It’s the worst season (Everybody knows it)
Christmas
Christmas is bullshit
I don’t wanna do it
Let me skip this one
So I can have fun

You can call me a killjoy
A curmudgeon, a grinch
But I call it like I see it
And I won’t give an inch

I don’t need Santa
I can buy shit for myself
I don’t care about
job security for an elf

Traditions don’t matter
Sometimes they’re obscene
Let me give an example
So you see what I mean

Name one other time
You would ever drink egg nog
If you don’t like what I’m sayin’
You can suck my yule log, cuz

Christmas
Christmas is bullshit
I hate the music
And pretending winter is fun
It’s the worst season (Everybody knows it)
Christmas
Christmas is bullshit
I don’t wanna do it
Let me skip this one
So I can have fun

Now I know what you’re gonna say
You’re gonna say, “Maybe you don’t like Christmas because you haven’t met the right Christmas yet.”
But we all know, that’s not how that works.
I’ve tried Christmas 35 times!
It’s NOT WORKING FOR ME
But they say, "Don’t complain about a problem without offering a solution."
Fine. Next year, no Christmas. Just two Halloweens!

Christmas
Christmas is bullshit
Nobody likes it
All the smiles are fake
Nobody wants no fruitcake (throw that shit out)
Christmas
Christmas is bullshit
We don’t have to do it
We can skip this one
So we can have fun
This song is done

credits

from Christmas Is Bullshit, track released November 15, 2018
Written, produced and performed by JC Cassis
Mixed by Chris Camilleri
Mastered by Mark Santangelo at The Mastering Palace
Recorded by Chris Camilleri and Ian Elkind
Vocals, piano, strings, glockenspiel and bells performed by JC Cassis
Guitar by Chris Camilleri
Bass by Dan Freeman
Drums by Ken White
Trumpet by Ben Seacrist
Saxophone by Alex Blade Silver
Trombone by Jovan Johnson

license

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tags

about

JC Cassis New York

JC Cassis is an independent solo artist, singer, songwriter, and music producer from New York City. She has appeared on VH1, Oxygen Network, LOGO TV, Disney Jr., and on festival stages around the USA.

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